Wesley Chu: Christmas BlogBy
As part of our 12 Days of Christmas, we’re bringing you some of your favourite authors talking about what Christmas is to them…in whatever form they like! We’re also bringing you their books at only £1!
Here’s how to take advantage of our seasonal special offer:1. Visit the Robot Trading Company at www.robottradingcompany.com2. Add the book(s) you’d like to buy to your shopping basket3. Add the magic word ‘tinsel’ to the ‘coupon/voucher’ box4. Click the ‘update basket’ button and the discount will be applied
Ah, it’s that time of the year again. Christmas and I have a complicated relationship. You see, she broke my heart. I first learned about Christmas when I was five years old in kindergarten back in Taiwan. I was learning about Western holidays in class and my teacher told us that if we made a list of things we wanted and hung socks over the fireplace, a white ghost (her words, not mine. Full disclaimer: at five years old, I had no idea what a Caucasian was so I literally thought it was a ghost) would break into our homes and stuff presents in there. You Westerners. So crazy!]
Actually, she told us a lot more than that but I pretty much just honed in on obtaining free shit. I mean, there’s a socialist magic crazy person is out there spreading wealth to strangers? Sign me up!
Being the gullible and greedy sop that I was, I went home and meticulously wrote out a list of thirty or so things I wanted and hung up every pair of sock I had. Needless to say, I was in for a sore disappointment the next day. Not one to give up so easily, I waited an entire week for this supposed magic man to give me my loot.
I remember shaking my fist at the sky, yelling “white ghost, where are my presents?”
After that, well, Christmas had broken my circle of trust and we’ve never been the same again. Never mind that it was in the middle of September at the time and I lived with my grandparents. They were practicing Buddhists. Details schmetails.
I obviously didn’t listen very well in class back then. To make matters worse, my feet stunk because I had no socks to wear. Not gonna lie; not getting those presents scarred me for life, and I carry those deep wounds to this day.
So, what does this have anything to do with today? Well, nothing really, but it might help explain why I don’t have a lot of Christmas memories. Because of that traumatic experience (the wounds cut deep, ya’ll), I’ve never really embraced the Christmas spirit.
Looking back at 2013, I realize that I have a lot to be thankful for. It’s been a fantastic and enchanted year and I owe it in no small part to my publisher Angry Robot, my agent Russell Galen, my wife Paula, my dog Eva, my family (I probably should have listed them before my dog), and to all the fans and readers who have supported me along the way. You guys all rock.
Therefore, Merry Christmas, Happy Hannakuh, a great National Flashlight Day (Dec 21st), an enchanted National Bicarbonate of Soda Day (Dec 30th), and a super Festivus for the Rest of us (Dec 23rd)!
This year, instead of my regular ole’ faux Christmas tree, I offer you the Chu family Festivus Bookimus Christmas tree.