Dec
20

12 Days of Christmas – Day 8: Anne Lyle

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Anne Lyle is going to take the world by storm with her debut novel The Alchemist of Souls in April 2012. For her 12 Days piece, Anne created a piece of festive robo-fun.

A prize to the writer of the best caption (as determined by whoever happens to be in the office at the time). Post your captions in the comments section. The competition ends  tomorrow, and a winner will be chosen on Thursday (just in time to miss the Christmas post, but it’ll be something to look forward to).

The winner will receive an Advance Reading Copy of Anne’s book – 3 months before the book goes on sale!

Categories : 12 Days, Angry Robot

32 Comments

1

[...] "The Alchemist of Souls" by entering the caption competition on the Angry Robot website: http://angryrobotbooks.com/2011/12/1…y-8-anne-lyle/ That's a whole three months before the book is published! Closing date is tomorrow, Wednesday [...]

3

Angry Robot was confused by Traffic Light Tree’s mixed signals.

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Robot: “Selecting the Tree Search option on the dating site has saved me a lot of needless heartache.”

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Glad you like the flashing necklace darling…can I open my present now?

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Baubles or not, he was still her perfect match.

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I just knew those ribbons would make me look like a pros-tree-tute.

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I fell in love with her branch circuits.

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Tree was sure of it; Angry Robot was only after her baubles.

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I just love primitive women…

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I am not only an avid reader and literature enthusiast but also an amateur writer (on my first novel) and so have a huge amount of respect and admiration for author Anne Lyle. It would make my Christmas to be able to win a novel, especially by an author whom i greatly esteem. xxx

Answer/ caption: ” This must be upgraded!”

(If you are a fan of Doctor Who and Cybermen, then you will understand). xxxx

12

To the tree’s horror, her sequence of flashing lights had activated the robot’s “Amour” subroutines.

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The tree knew he should not have let his wife choose his decorations for him.

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Robot: Why do those humans laugh when I confirm I have wood?

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Tree: Do my branches look too big in this outfit?

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“Ribbons register red,
the ornaments render as blue
Yet what I compile
Is that I <3 you."

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Robot: 01001000 01101111 01110111 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100100 01101111 01101001 01101110 00100111
Tree: I’m sorry, I’m a tree, could you repeat that in analog?

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Despite their differences there was an undeniable spark between them, unfortunately that was where the problems began…

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There was nothing she could do – he felt her presents…

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Put ‘em away, love – I already told you Christmas only comes once a year.

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She was caught with her skirt down again…

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She gave in when he said he was going to get his chopper out.

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Excuse me maam, but your boobs are lighting up!

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Does my bum look fat in this?

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Sorry, not tonight luv. I’m shedding.

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Too late, Christmas Tree realised her fairy lights were blinking “I want you inside me” in binary…

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She’d have told him to keep his hands to himself, but she was too tongue tied.

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“Red, yellow, green. You’re giving me mixed signals, baby.”

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I like holiday romances. I like needle matches. But which is best? There’s only one way to find out…. FIGHT!

30

klaatu barada nikto xxx

31

“You’re much fancier looking than the usual dead-tree editions.”

32

Everyone had their cameras ready, waiting for the moment he’d realize the tree… was just a tree.

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